


Can I Be Him?

by myfleetingreverie



Category: Goyo: Ang Batang Heneral (2018), Heneral Luna (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Fluff and Angst, Heartbreak, M/M, Moving On, New love, fanboy Joven Hernando
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-02
Updated: 2018-12-02
Packaged: 2019-09-05 18:01:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16815652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myfleetingreverie/pseuds/myfleetingreverie
Summary: Inspired by James Arthur's song Can I Be HimVicente was the lead vocals of an indie band Joven was a fan of. And as any fan would fantasize, he wanted Vicente to sing about him. Would it remain a fantasy? Or Can Joven be "him" that Vicente sings about?





	Can I Be Him?

_You walked into the room and now my heart has been stolen_

Everybody knew him. He was Vicente Enriquez, from Bulacan. Lead vocals of an indie band, Lakan. One cannot miss his bright smile, suave voice, and expressive eyes. Together with his bandmates, Julian and Goyo, the three of them made everyone swoon over their music and looks. Vicente walked to the stage and my head started spinning. The dark room was lit by colors red and blue. He stood in front of me, checking his mic and guitar. He looked at my direction and smiled. A jolt of electricity came over me, my heart doing flips inside my rib cage. 

_You took me back in time to when I was unbroken_

I remembered the first time I saw him perform. I was in a grimmer place then, with no one to turn to. It was the first time I went out to take my mind off of Paco, my ex-boyfriend. I wasn’t expecting for anything to happen. I went out to forget but came back remembering every second he was on stage. He sang with so much passion and I knew I was smitten. 

_Now you're all I want And I knew it from the very first moment_

Since then, I would attend their gigs and place myself not too far from the stage but not too near for him to see how my eyes were glued to him. Every performance of him I see makes me fall for him even more. When he sings, everything feels better and lighter. My world started getting less gloomy and the hurt started drifting away. 

_'Cause a light came on when I heard that song and I want you to sing it again_  
_I swear that every word you sing, you wrote them for me_  
_Like it was a private show, I know you never saw me_

The darkness found its light in you, your voice brought back what was lost in me. Every word, I felt was meant to remind me to feel again. When you sing, it felt like you were doing it for me. God, I wish you were doing it for me. Then you look into my eyes and stayed in it. I want to freeze that moment, capture it, and hold on to it ‘till I can no longer. But you looked away, woke me up from my daydream, told me I wasn’t the only one you see. Reminding me I’m just one of the unfamiliar faces in the crowd. 

_When the lights come on and I'm on my own_  
_Will you be there to sing it again?_  
_Could I be the one you talk about in all your stories_  
_Can I be him?_

My feelings for him grew, I began to ask people about him. It wasn’t hard to find out things about people who puts themselves where others can see. He was leading a colorful life, much more exciting than mine. It was where he took inspiration from when writing their songs. How I wish I was part of his life so that I could hear him sing about me. But he was part of someone else’s. That someone was always in the backstage, watching Vicente bare his soul through his music and lyrics. Always welcoming Vicente in his arms and lips after their set. Acting like he means the world to him. 

_I heard there was someone but I know he don't deserve you_

But I know him, more than I was willing to admit. I saw him as I was walking home, hand in hand with another man. I was stopped in my tracks because I knew he was Vicente’s. Until I realized that maybe he wasn’t because there he was gripped by someone else. I swallowed hard and stopped myself from coming to him. That’s when I saw Vicente, coming at them with all the hurt in the world. I watch from afar how he was crushed by what he saw. The tears pouring out of his eyes, revealing the pain and sorrow he was feeling. 

_If you were mine I'd never let anyone hurt you, no, no_  
_I wanna dry those tears, kiss those lips_  
_It's all that I've been thinking about_

Right then I wanted to walk towards Vicente, wipe his tears and tell him everything’s going to be alright because that’s what he showed me, what he made me feel, even when he didn’t intend to. But then again, who was I? Just a fan; a mere outsider, one of the unfamiliar faces in the crowd. But still, I did what I thought could help him. I began leaving notes on his locker, telling him to bring back his smile. Leaving random messages on his band’s message board especially addressed to him. Spreading word about their band’s gigs and making sure I attend to every single one. I even asked someone working in the bar they’re playing to give him his favorite Bulakenyo delicacies I bought. All this I did plus more, not intending for him to know me. I didn’t need him to know me. Just seeing him gradually learning to smile again was more than enough. 

_'Cause a light came on when I heard that song and I want you to sing it again_  
_I swear that every word you sing, you wrote them for me_

__

But one night, they played a new song. He dedicated it to someone who never failed to put a smile on his face even if it was hard for him to smile these days. I wonder who that was and how lucky that person is. 

_Like it was a private show, but I know you never saw me_  
_When the lights come on and I'm on my own_  
_Will you be there to sing it again?_

The song talked about how that person would leave him messages in the band’s message board, rally for him and their band’s gigs, and would often be present in their gigs. I forced myself not to think about how I perfectly fit his description. “Maybe someone else does the same thing I do, they have such dedicated fans in the first place.” I thought to myself. But I wasn’t prepared when I heard the next line, “he was in front of me, wearing his round rimmed glasses, making me smile all night, what a wonderful sight.” As if time stood still, I stopped breathing for a while. 

_Could I be the one you talk about in all your stories?_  
_Can I be the one_  
_Can I be the one_  
_Can I be the one_

Is he really looking at me? Or was it someone else he sees? I looked at the people beside me, all of them looking at me. I looked at the people behind me and they, too, were staring. I was frozen from where I was seated. Vicente wasn’t looking away. I felt the blood rushing to my face but I can’t look away. 

_I swear that every word you sang, you wrote 'em for me_

“he was in front of me, wearing his round rimmed glasses, making me smile all night, what a wonderful sight.” he sang repeatedly.

_Like it was a private show, but I know you never saw me_

I cannot believe what’s happening to me.

_When the lights come on and I'm on my own_  
_Will you be there, will you be there?_

When their set ended, I decided to leave. I was out of the door and there he was, under the moonlight, as if waiting for someone. “Hi” he said as he walked towards me. My heart started racing. He reached out smiling, “Vicente Enriquez, taga Bulacan”. I took his hand into mine, wishing he wouldn’t notice how cold it was, “Joven Hernando ho”. 

_Can I be the one you talk about in all your stories_

“So it was you.” he said. “It was me.” I replied. “Was it me you were singing about?” I asked. 

_Can I be him?_  
_Can I be him?_  
_Can I be him?_  
_Can I be him?_

“No one else, but you.” he revealed. I can’t help but smile, he did too. 

Now I don’t have to wonder and ask “Can I be him?”  
Because I am “him”, and I am his too. 

And now he is mine.


End file.
